hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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