just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
