Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
