she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
