I think im going to throw up on grandma
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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