it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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