some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
