HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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