I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
