White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
