Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
