Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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