so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize