Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
