finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
