Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
