my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
