i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
