if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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