Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Randomize
