'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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