he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
