My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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