DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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