The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize