Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
