You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
