So gin and wine won't be happening again
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
