I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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