i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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