You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
