I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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