Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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