Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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