are you still at the devil's house?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
