I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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