would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
