it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Couch. On fire.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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