If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
