Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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