It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
