Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize