gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
