exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
