i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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