eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So vagazzling was a success
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
