you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize