Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
