seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
