watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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