Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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