I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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