we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
