Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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