i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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