Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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