I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
