Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
