I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
