we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
