there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
