I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
