I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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