At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
