i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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