Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she told me i tasted like america
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
