i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
