Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
