Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
