My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
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I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
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I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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